THE CARNIVOROUS CARNIVAL

Dear Internet User,

In the ninth title in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Carnivorous Carnival, the Baudelaire siblings are falsely accused of murder. On the run from Count Olaf (the real killer), the three disguise themselves in Madame Lulu's House of Freaks; Violet and Klaus masquerade as the two-headed Beverly/Elliot; Sunny poses as Chabo the Wolf Baby.

With all due Respect,

The Webmaster

Pages: 286

Clue in Ending Illustration: A Snow Scout Handbook Flying in the Wind

Count Olaf’s Disguise: None

Guardian: None

Beatrice Dedication:

For Beatrice-
Our love broke my heart,
and stopped yours.

 

 

THE SLIPPERY SLOPE

Dear Internet User,

Like handshakes, house pets, or raw carrots, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up -- and down -- a range of strange and distressing mountains.

In order to spare you any further repulsion, it would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a troupe of organized youngsters, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire.

Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire Orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate yourself to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery book slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle, or deep pit.

With all due respect,

The Webmaster

Pages: 337

Clue in Ending Illustration: Mushrooms on the Rock

Count Olaf’s Disguise: None

Guardian: None                               Beatrice Dedication:

For Beatrice-
When we met, you were pretty, and I was lonely.
Now, I am pretty lonely.

 

THE GRIM GROTTO

Dear Internet User,

Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to read this summary, in which the Baudelaire siblings encounter an unpleasant amount of dampness as they descend into the depths of despair, underwater.

In fact, the horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and you wouldn't want me even to mention the worst of it, which includes mushrooms, a desperate search for something lost, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing.

As a dedicated webmaster who has pledged to keep updating this site about the terrible story of the Baudelaires, I must continue to delve deep into the cavernous depths of the orphans' lives. You, on the other hand, may delve into some happier webpage, in order to keep your eyes and your spirits from being dampened.

With all due respect,
The Webmaster

Pages: 352                                                                                             

Clue in ending ilustration: hat in the sand that says, "Hotel D" (the rest is obscured by sand)/Possibly zeplin in the corner near city.

Count Olaf's Disguise: None

Guardian: Captain Widdershins and Phil(Sort of)

Beatrice Dedication:

For Beatrice-
Dead women tell no tales.
Sad men write them down.

 

 

THE OMINOUS OMNIBUS

This is a collection of all three of the first books in one.